Revealed: Russian Snowboarders Least Doped. Must Try Harder.

A drugs scandal where snowboarders rank 2nd last in terms of controversy? You’ve got to be kidding us…

Gone are the days when we were making headlines for doping (albeit with substances that decrease reaction times), and now we welcome in the age where an entire nation is potentially facing Olympic suspension off the back of an apparently state sanctioned cheating scheme.

Sochi 2014 was the most expensive Olympics in history, despite reports of half-built spots all over the place, and it now looks like the host nation, who topped the medal table at the time, are going to go under. They’ve been accused of replacing contaminated urine samples with freshies that had been frozen long before the doping process began. They then allegedly disposed of the positive tests and snuck in the clean defrosted ones with help from the Secret Service.

A verdict from the IOC is expected to be made today as to whether any Russian athletes will be allowed to compete in this summer’s Rio Olympics. Fair enough, considering the World Anti-Doping Agency investigation suggests this could have been going on since 2011.

But the shocker for us? Snowboarders ranked lower than curling in terms of missing samples!

Graphic: BBC

It definitely looks like, out of the 15 snowboarders competing for Russia, a negligable amount were involved. And while the 1998 Olympic slalom champion Ross Rebagliati is now heading up his own “international marijuana super-brand”, Sochi’s double gold medalist Vic Wild appears to have spectacularly failed to live up to his name – allowing snowboarders to be unquestionably out-partied by skiers for the first time in history.

Whether dodgy samples were snuck in on behalf of he or his teammates – women’s Giant Slalom bronze medalist Alena Zavarzina, Snowboard Cross 2nd place Nikolay Olyunin or bold-as-brass phone number displaying slopestyler Alexey Sobolev – is unclear at this point.

We’ll keep you informed on any further developments, including what the curlers were smoking, as and when we hear.

Alexey’s digits displayed to draw the ladies.
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