Crank Down & Buckle Up | Clickerbelt

Is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy?

Shoelace belt? Grow up mate. The time has come for revolution comrades. It’s time to crank down and buckle up. It’s Clickerbelt motherfuckers.

“For just £15.56 you can skip all that shite and get your black belt in SWAG”

We’re all obsessed with letting people know that we snowboard, right? We wear our snowboard boots to the office; we don’t wash so we permanently have that post-snowboarding musk and we make sure we’re hitting the quota and saying gnarly minimum six times per hour. Come on, who doesn’t wear their helmet to do their weekly food shop? I even once went to the sunbed with my goggles on to top up my season facial tan. We could not be more stoked to have stumbled upon Clickerbelt. It’s a belt with a snowboard binding buckle- we’ve died and gone to heaven.

The sexiest noise in history- ‘Click’

People toil their whole lives and dedicate tens of thousands of hours to mastering their art for the chance to earn their black belt. For just £15.56 you can skip all that shite and get your black belt in SWAG.

We took to the streets to see what the public had to say about our new belts…

“I’m a compulsive groin looker (exactly what it sounds like) especially when I see something I like. When my primal instinct roars and I do a quick glance down and see a square wearing a leather belt my loins shrivel in disgust. But that belt has me firing on all cylinders, meow” -Stella P, 28

“That belt has me firing on all cylinders, meow”

“I’ve never before been able to wear a belt because they’re so fiddly. You see, I have hooks for hands and Clickerbelt opens a whole new realm of possibilities for keeping my shorts round my midriff. Thanks Clickerbelt!” -John W, 33

“We’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking”

“My wife used to be repulsed by me, she would spit in my food, sneeze into my open mouth, urinate into my shampoo- the whole nine yards! But since I’ve started wearing my Clickerbelt she can’t get enough of me! We’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking” -Rob M, 29

“My god, I used to think the Large Hadron Collider was a feat of engineering, but this makes that look like a fucking satsuma sellotaped to a stick. Give that man a Nobel Prize immediately.” -Jack C, 32


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