Oh Holy Mother of God. Avert thine eyes because – after years of failed attempts – someone has finally done it. This is the crappest snow based product of all time. This is… The Snowbird.

Just imagine the marketing meeting that pre-cursed this abomination:

“So guys, apparently snowboardsurfing is hip amongst the youngsters! How do we at Spark Innovations get in on this trend?”
“Hmmmm… Making a snowboard seems kind of hard, plus there are many other existing manufacturers.”
“Yeah you’re right, what we need to do is reinvent the snowboard!”
“Great idea! Now, who knows anything about snowboarding?”
“Me! I just bought my son a Shaun White scooter!”
“So snowboarders like scooters? Awesome! What else do they like?”
“I Googled snowboarding and found this video of someone skateboarding on snow!”
“Right! Skateboards are easy to make, and cheap! Keep Googling!”
“Look – there’s already a new innovative snowboard sport we can rip off! All we have to do is cut a snowboard in half.”
Etc etc…

And thus the holy trinity of awful ‘action sports’ were joined in union. Yes, Dual Snowboards, coupled with snowskating blended with a micro-scooter. Yibb tried it a few years ago, but this effort makes even that look as stylish as a Nicolas Muller method.

Guaranteed to be popular in France if it ever gets beyond the prototype stage – this unholy blend of scootering steeze and skateboard flip tricks is – quite simply – the worst. As demonstrated below:

It’s set up the way it is to allow the ‘board’ to spin around two axis – like a regular snowboard or snowskate – except finding that too hard the designer added the scooter bars. According to the website:

A 360 Flip board slide combination during a shredding session is no longer out of the question. Rather, the question remains, what trick will be performed next?

Oh good.

If you’re really compelled to do so, you can see more shit attempts at re-inventing the snowboard here.