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Illusions vs Reality: How To Avoid First Season Faux Pas

CHALET BITCH AND GUEST BLOGGER BELLE DE NEIGE TELLS IT LIKE IT IS

Wait, did I lose my room key down there? Photo: Belle de Neige

We stumbled upon the hilarious blog Belle de Neige one quiet Wednesday lunchtime – and it had us hooked from the first post. Penned by an anonymous twenty-something British female seasonaire, it tells the gritty/hilarious details of being a chalet bitch in the Alps – from picking up other people’s disgusting stained knickers *vom* to advice on avoiding looking like an absolute tool on the slopes, with plenty of sexcapades on the side.

Once you start reading Belle de Neige, you honestly won’t be able to stop… Which is why we’ve got her to write this informative guest post. Enjoy!

Words: Belle De Neige

If you’re heading out on your first season this year, you’ve probably already found that there isn’t much floating around the internet ether that can truly prepare your un-initiated arse for what’s coming. Of course, there is all the trite, goody-two-shoes bollocks written by ski resort employers, or Ed Westwick gurning his way through that horrendous film Chalet Girl, but in my book that doesn’t quite cut the mustard.

Seasonaire life, as I’m sure you’ve been told, is certainly no cruise. When you boil it down, it’s about sex, booze, toilet cleaning and, of course, riding. Amazingly though, some people can’t even get that right. Clearly morons.

Although I’ve temporarily opted out of season life while I publish a book about my experiences in the mountains from Belle de Neige, allow me to give you a helping hand by delving into my memory banks and shattering a few of your illusions.

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