For decades now, the snowboard industry has been locked in a noble pursuit: how to ride snow in places where snow absolutely does not belong.
We’ve had dryslopes. We’ve had indoor domes, bristled carpets (big up my Dendex warriors) and enough artificial snow solutions to make Mother Nature file a restraining order.
But the lads down under, being the innovators they are, have taken inspiration from the humble hamster wheel and thought “fuken’ oath – I’d love to have a pop at that” and invented a rotating wheel of snow that promises 600m2 of constantly rideable snow.
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, quite a lot actually – The snow at the top of the wheel will be hanging 12.5metres overhead, and having logged my hours teaching beginners on man-made snow the human body can create one hell of a divot in the stuff. And the idea that that bundle of compacted crud will just hang politely for a full rotation seems unlikely.
No doubt it’ll be the instructor chilling in the flat section, watching his student tackle the infinite tumble simulator that will take 5 kilos of compacted frost to the dome as it plummets from above.
This whole thing feels more like a training ground for those looking to tackle Cooper-Hills wheel of cheese race than providing any real benefit to snowboarding.
And if it does somehow work… What does freestyle night even look like? Are you standing still, waiting for a rail to rotate to descend from the heavens, trying to time a front board as it morphs from down rail to flat bar to vertical pole jam with a spin of the wheel?
Colour me sceptical — and definitely not an early adopter.
That said, if there’s one group you can rely on to throw themselves at something like this without hesitation, it’s the Aussies. Fearless, enthusiastic, and always up for a crack. For that, we salute them.
Oh and the name – SnowTunnel – sounds like some yuppy cambridge slang for chuffing a line of powder up ya nose.
