White Lies

Top Snowboard School To Offer Ante-Natal Classes

The search for the next viral video star just got easier

In an unprecedented move, a leading snowboard school has introduced a series of foetal training and development classes for unborn children.

The Snow Success Academy in New Hampshire, USA will begin accepting mothers-to-be from the start of April. The curriculum includes taking heavily pregnant women on backcountry hikes to acclimatise their foetus to the mountain environment, playing classic RobotFood soundtracks to their baby bumps, and using ultrasound to identify and correct any bad style already being displayed in the womb.

Among those signing up was Theresa Davis, who’s due in May.

An SSA coach drills his student on how to avoid zeaching

“My oldest is two, and every time I try and film him with my phone he starts crying and asking to ‘go back inside where it’s warm’. I think it’s my own fault for not getting him into snowboarding until he was three months old. Thanks to these classes, I won’t have that problem again – this next one will be a bigger star than that Aspen kid, you’ll see.”

“I signed my wife up straight away” said Vernon Taylor, expecting his second child. “My one-year-old’s edit has been up for months and it’s still only had 27,000 views.”

“His switch riding is terrible, which is especially disappointing given how he came out feet first.”

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