White Lies

Terje Haakonsen Reverses Position On Olympics

"As long as it's held in North Korea"

In a move that has surprised the snowboarding world, longtime critic of Olympic snowboarding Terje Haakonsen has announced that he now supports the event – provided that it takes place in North Korea.

During his controversial trip with Mike Rav and Dan Liedahl, Terje made an appearance on the state’s news network and read from a prepared statement, pausing only to occasionally wipe sweat from his brow.

“Having now seen first-hand how wonderful the facilities in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea are, I’m confident that all issues I previously had with the IOC will be resolved by the wise and benevolent master of this great nation” said Terje, flanked by two uniformed officials.

“Therefore I implore the IOC, and the international community as a whole, to please strip the cowardly South Koreans of the 2018 games and move them to Pyongyang.”

“Please” he repeated with tears forming in his eyes, after which the screen went blank.

When asked to comment, a spokesperson from the IOC mentioned that it the DPRK would be unlikely to host the games in the near future, as they don’t yet believe the rogue state is capable of delivering the extensive list of demands, freebies and perks required for their official delegation.

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