The Shaun White Bumlick-Biopic

When CNN aren’t dealing with more pressing matters such as getting Piers Morgan to make people cry or showing us adverts of Namibian businessmen, they spatter their channel with gems like this. Shaun White got told to go to a pokey, crap slope in China and show off a bit, and in return they gave him a shrine on a wall.

We have to mention the brilliant description of the documentary Yobeat provided:

• Shaun White talking about how awesome his life is
• Shaun’s brother Jessie talking about how awesome Shaun is
• Jake Burton talking about how riders are pushing the sport
• Shaun talking about how awesome Burton is
• Jake talking about how Shaun is pushing the sport more than any other rider.
• Shaun will admit that snowboarding is not fun for him
• Jake will conveniently not mention the “if it’s not fun, why do it?” messaging
• Shaun will talk about being driven by contests
• Jessie will talk about Shaun being driven by contest
• Bud Keene will try to fulfill his role as the Phil Jackson of snowboarding
• A shot of a Gnu snowboard?
• Shaun will claim he knows how to read

Granted, the footage of The Flying Tomato as a kid is pretty interesting, but not when you’ve got the world’s ugliest-sounding Brit to do the voiceover. Five seconds into the bio and he’s already sucked all the fun out of the word ‘Snerberding’. Piers, was this you?


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