21/02/2014 | by Sam McMahon
Right so we’re about to start covering this… going live in T minus 5…4…3…
Here’s a quick re-cap of what went down in the qualifiers… http://whitelines.com/news/snowboard-events/x-games-2014-billy-morgan-unlucky-not-to-qualify-in-mens-slopestyle.html
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, we think Billy Morgan was unlucky not to qualify…
But then we know we’re biased.
The slopestyle final is about to start out here in Aspen! Go Norway @nikesnowboarding #xgames
So that’s Gjermund Braaten getting excited about the event… Good Glove Gjermund!
SHIT!! ESPN’s player’s gone down… anyone got a dodgy strem cos the paid one’s ain’t working…
97 #XGames athletes will also be competing at the Winter Olympics. These fierce competitors kick things off now: es.pn/KLywdv
So there’s an interesting stat from ESPN… Who knew there were 97 “athletes” in the winter X Games, let alone 97 who crossed over with the ‘Lympics?
The question on Whitelines’ lips at the moment is when is snowmobile distance jumping gonna become an Olympic sport?
Whaddya mean it’s like Evil Keneivel?
Not saying that we don’r care deeply about snowmobiling… I mean we were pretty impressed by Colten Moore’s efforts earlier on in these games… http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/jan/24/colten-moore-claims-x-games-snowmobile-gold-year-after-brothers-death
Love the fact that the Guardian are reporting on that btw…
OK SHIT AND WE’RE ACTUALLY LIVE RIGHT NOW!!
Apologies for the rambling so far, we were really struggling with ESPN’s stream…
But we’ve finally managed to get on and we’ve learned three things so far.
1) Chas Guldemond has just landed his FIRST EVER triple cork in competition. That’s not a bad result for the contest jock.
2) Max Parrot fucking rules. After winning last night’s big air, he’s now ONLY GONE AND POSTED A SCORE OF NINETY FUCKING FOUR!!! It’s gonna be pretty hard to beat the young French Canadian when he’s on this kinda form…
3) Stale Sandbech was potentially robbed again (after many people were claiming he was hard done by in slope semis…)
OK so Mark McMorris just dropped. Hardway back 270 as an opening trick. Technical rail tricks WHAT?!?! Ain’t no thang for McMo…
And then his kicker run included a cab double 1440, double wildcat, back triple…
But here’s Torstein. We’re still on first runs here…
This looks like a strong run… cab dub 10… switch back 12… front dub 10… and then OH SHIT! he stacks it on the back triple. Damn Torstein…
And now we’re going to a commercial break. THANKS FOLKS, PLEASE BUY WHATEVER IT IS THEY’RE ADVERTISING TA!!
Or not… we won’t be… seriously these ads could be a BIT more relevant couldn’t they?
OK so our screens atm are showing a puppet jamming with a douchebag in a waistcoat..
Of course, it’s Wonga dot com. We shoulda known. With adverts like that no wonder even the Archbishop of Canterbury thinks they’re cunts…
X GAMES IS BOUGHT TO YOU BY JEEP!! Emphasis on the “bought”
Get those questions ready! At 2:45pm ET @Nyjah_Huston is chatting LIVE from Aspen on our @facebook page. pic.twitter.com/FI3rwQQkU4
So apparently @nyjah_huston is a guest commentator! Star of Fade to Black. Send him your questions about his favourite Metallica tunes…
…For the record our personal favourite is Master of Puppets. I know, an obvious choice, but that melodic neo-classical bit is SO good…
So Aleks Oestreng fucked his first kicker and went for a style run… Nice to watch. Ain’t gonna score him high
And now it’s Seb Toots’ turn. Back 1 on, switch back 1 off. That’s a RAD tech trick…
Unfortunately he reverts on his first kicker after a double rodeo. and anyone who follows @billymorgan89 knows what happens when you revert! It’s UNFORGIVEABLE
Emil… about to drop. One letter away from a girl’s name, and apparently a bit of a Ulsletten…
He didn’t dso anything to change much…
But now it’s Wunderkind MAX PARROT back on course…
This kid is the definition of techy rad-ness at the minute… and we’re really excited
But… standardly our live stream goes down. GOD DAMN IT ESPN, SORT IT THE F*CK OUT!!!
OK so it’s back online… and luckily we didn;t miss that much – in that Max apparently fell over. It came back on-stream just in time for us to watch Max skip the final kicker – so he musta fell on one of the earlier ones…
The absolut best way to end a saturday! #XGAMES#Aspen#2014#winter#snowboard#slopestyle#cheering @markmcmorris @sebtoots @maxparrot
And thats a photo of a certain monsieur McMorris apparently… the man who’s not lived up to the monstrous expectations that the ESPN commentators have laid on him so far…
Louie Vito is PRESENTING?!? Is this what happens when you don’t qualify for the Olympics?
Sorry, perhaps that’s harsh. We’re sure he deserves the gig on the strength of being able to backflip on dancing with the stars…
And now we’re being treated to a replay of MAX PARROT’S first run!!
But not before the inevitable AMERICA’S NAVY ad. They’re a Global Force for Good Doncha Know?
Holy shit!! NOW we can see why Max was given a 94… after a super-tech a rail section he RINSED out with a front dub 10, double rodeo, cab triple to backside triple 1440. I’m pretty sure that’s the first time EVER we’ve seen back to back TRIPLES in competition…
Wow! That is a run and a half… Mark McMorris is no longer Canada’s leading slopestyle star… remember this is the kid who won GOLD in the big air last night.
.@MaxParrot is #EnFuego right now. Check out his 94.00 first run in the SBD Slopestyle final -> xgam.es/1e56YLM
There’s a convinced sounding tweet from X Games.. Looks like the person running their twitter account thinks the young French Canadian is gonna be hard to beat…
But Mark McMorris is about to drop!
He’s currently 2nd with a 66! There’s SUCH a difference between 1st and 2nd here it’s mental!
OK so that was a pretty good run, but surely not enough to beat Max…
WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Mark McMorris has just been given a 96?!?!
Ok so that was good, but BETTER than Max’s? OK we’re on the repeat now…
What?! OK struggling to see how that judging decision was made… He spun (as far as we could gather) cab dub 12, front dub 12, double wildcat and back triple. And his rails weren’t as good as Parrot’s… so how the HELL does that beat Max’s run?!?
We’re struggling here – please tell me X Games aren’t doing another 100 point perfect score scenario for the best reputation here?
How does the first guy EVER to land back to back triples in competition not get a higher score than a good (but let’s face it, fairly standard) McMorris run?
Got to ride finals practice as alternate here at @xgames just smashed back to back triples on the course. #XGames @redbull #stoked
Woah!! OK so we just learned that while Max landed the first EVER back to back triples in competition, our very own Billy Morgan landed the same combo earlier today in practise (he didn’t make the finals but he was the reserve so was still practising) so Billy was in fact the first person EVER to land back to back triples…
Such a shame he didn’t get to try them in competition. Not that it would have mattered – we’re now getting a breakdown of HOW the judges scored McMo higher and apparently it’s got something to do with the rails… As far as WE could see Parrot’s rail game was better.
Back to back triples – a pretty f*cking momentous occasion (regardless of what you think of spin to win) and yet the score goes in favour of the dude with the bigger rep… not sure bout that X Games, not sure…
Oh, we’ve just realised the whole thing is sponsored by Jeep. Did anyone else notice that?
Apparently American car manufacturer Jeep are behind this comp. Really? Wow. We did NOT know that.
I tell you what, knowing that makes us wanna go out and buy one of their truck-shaped polar bear killers RIGHT NOW!
Oh and incidentally, we’re also suddenly filled with an inexplicable desire to join America’s Navy…
… did we mention already that they’re a Global Force for Good?
aight cool, that’s the ads over. Emil Ulsletten (him of the slutty name) is back on course. But he can’t produce anything that’ll shake up the podium so far
Oh shit – PARROT is back on course. He better step it up here, cos whatebver he does he’ll be judged harshly…
We NEED him to be more Polly Wanna Cracker than Norwegian Blue…
And he’s going for the same run but he’s UPPED his rail game, like nothing else. Badman.
And then he goes for two doubles and the back to back triples again and HOLY SHIT, he lands them both AND SOME!!
We’re watching this run back and WOW! He goes HUGE over the last two kickers and stomps the SHIT out of those triples. How sour does Mark McMorris look right about now?!?
There’s sucking on lemons and then there’s that close up of McMorris’ face. His hands may be applauding… but his eyes say he’s dead inside.
Have you ever seen a bulldog chewing on a wasp? That was what McMorris’ smile looked like there. I’m sorry mate, but there’s a new Canadian in town. This Mountie is the man!
Chuck G drops. Does well, but ain’t gonna trouble the podium with that…
But here’s Stale – last night’s Bronze medal man. What’s he got for us…? Some serious rails and a SICK kicker game finishing off with a back triple, absolutely bolts. The cleanest we’ve seen all night. Is it enough? Enough for third yeah…
McMorris coming again. Can he beat the Parrot?
NO!! no he can’t! Wow, what happened there? He stacked on an up flat down rail…
You know when Homer Simpson falls into the canyon? That’s what McMorris just did over the biggest rail….
D’Oh… d’oh… d’oh… d’oh… d’oh… d’oh…
Wow… he was lucky to land on his feet there.
AHAH we’re being treated to that from multiple angles. It gets better with each re-telling…
How did McMo manage that?
Well, he’s regained his composure enough to do the interview.
That can’t be much fun. He’s clearly not enjoying it, and neither are his parents…
But Horgmo – as the top qualifier – is still to drop. He’s not really been in this comp so far but what can he do here?
Can he pull it out the bag on his final run? He’s got the skills surely…
…but NO! Damn. Torstein bails on the triple at the end, which means Max Parrot gets a medal slung on him straight away! What a winner
The medal makes him look like a Sherriff from the 1910s. The accent makes him sound like a fur-trapper from the 1890s. Lovely guy, but they should really let him speak French shouldn’t they?
Still it’d be pretty churlish to complain – he absolutely BOSSED that. Harshly judged by the panel, he looked like he was about to be overlooked in favour of the media favourite for no other reason than he was…. well the media favourite. But he came out with all guns blazing on his final run. How fucking SICK was that?!?
You could (in fact) say he was sick as a parrot.
Eat your heart out Norwegian (blues), as John Cleese would say, “This is an eX (Games) PARROT.”
Get in Maxence!!
That’s Max, with his medal. Well, well deserved.
We thought the judges might have made it difficult for him there… but he did the best (or at least most technical) run of the night TWICE. Just in case the judges didn’t notice he was the best rider on course, he did it again, just to prove. What a LAD!
Bien fait Max, bien fait notre ami.
Now go off an get drunk Max… you deserve it. And everyone else, please stay tuned for the WOMEN’S slopestyle coming up NEXT!
Super intense final!! Canadians take gold and silver!! Sochi’s gonna be gooooddd… #sbdslopestyle #maxparrot #markmcmorris #wearewinter
DOUBLE GOLD for @MaxParrot! He edged out Canadian teammate Mark McMorris with this sensational 96.33 run: xgam.es/1cfDaMi
Boom – in case there was any doubt – that’s the official confirmation of Max Parrot’s off the radometer levels of radness.
We’re now moving over to our women’s slopestyle live blog, which you can follow here: http://whitelines.com/news/snowboard-events/x-games-2014-womens-slopestyle-live-blog-follow-the-action-as-it-happens.html