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Joy Meets World | The Whistler Blackcomb Travel Log

We whet our whistles in beautiful British Columbia

Spankys Ladder, Angel Dust, Ratfink. Street names for black market drugs? Or trail names in Whistler? Both… As much fun as it is riding in Europe, saying to your pals “I’ll see you at the bottom of Blue 29” doesn’t quite have the same punch as “Meet me at the Gun Barrels at noon”. Giving such atypical names to some of the world’s best rideable terrain reflects Whistler’s work hard, play hard ethos perfectly. Getting to ride Dave Murray Downhill isn’t the only reason to hit up Whistler but it definitely doesn’t hurt.

“Powder hounds, corduroy chasers and party animals alike all set their sights on Whistler like a maple-hued Emerald City”

To snowboarders Whistler Blackcomb has a mythical cult-like status. Much like surfers flocking to Hawaii or skaters descending on Venice Beach in their droves, powder hounds, corduroy chasers and party animals alike all set their sights on Whistler like a maple-hued Emerald City.

Peak to Peak Gondola | PC: Joy Dutch

We arrived in Vancouver airport mid-afternoon, slightly jet-lagged, a little discombobulated but absolutely chomping at the bit to get out there. The drive out to Whistler takes a couple of hours and is arguably one of the most picturesque routes in North America. The Sea-To-Sky Highway takes you along the coastline and into the heart of British Columbia with incredible views the entire way. Unfortunately for us, it was foggy as hell on the way there and we could see about as much as Stevie Wonder wearing a blindfold.

“The drive out to Whistler takes a couple of hours and is arguably one of the most picturesque routes in North America”

We were staying in the palatial Four Seasons Hotel and Residences, which is a good three stars above my usual port of call. Despite the swanky aesthetic of the place, I was never made to feel out of place for dressing like a homeless teenage boy (which definitely can’t be said for my parent’s house at Easter). I felt a little bit like the escaped chimpanzee wandering around the Majestic hotel in ‘Dunston Checks In’- bemused, overwhelmed and intoxicated by the grandeur.

Whistler Four Seasons

On the ride up to Whistler our driver had waxed poetic about the steak served at The Four Seasons’ restaurant ‘Sidecut’, I genuinely think it brought a tear to his eye at one point. Luckily, that evening we had the opportunity to eat said steak. It was bigger than my head. No, it was bigger than two of my heads. It was mesmerising. The cocktail menu recommends itself with all the drinks drawing inspiration from the mountains and they’re served so incredibly decoratively that it’s almost a shame to drink them.

“It was bigger than my head. No, it was bigger than two of my heads. It was mesmerising”

In the morning, I was hit with an intense wave of excitement as we stepped out of the Blackcomb Gondola. One that I can only equate to the world’s oldest player mascot holding on tightly as they trot out hand in hand with their hero down the tunnel into the bright stadium lights at the World Cup Final.

PC: Whistler Blackcomb

Our guide for the day was an ex-Olympian who’d competed for Canada at the winter games not once, but twice. (Shoutout to Aleisha Cline, what a badass!) It’s well worth getting a guide while you’re in Whistler even if you’ve been before, you’ll get to ride like a local, skip lift lines and get the inside scoop on all the runs. We were shown to the secret spots to sniff out powder stashes and led to the couloirs and bowls with the best conditions.

“Chuck on a plaid shirt, flex your muscles and awaken your inner lumberjack by hurling sharp stuff at targets”

The evening involved the biggest TV screens I’ve ever come across (cinema notwithstanding) and some classic North America cuisine at Earls in Whistler Village. The night itself trails off into a hazy blur of Boilermakers and unidentifiable singing…

PC: Whistler Blackcomb

The mornings activity was a trip to the decadent Scandinave Spa, just a short drive from the village. A much-needed Hydrotherapy session followed with Eucalyptus steam rooms, wood-burning saunas, cold plunges and heated baths. The spa upholds a Simon & Garfunkel-esque noise policy which after an evening pounding single malt and screeching 80’s rock couldn’t be more welcome.

“The stairs up to the entrance are known locally as ‘The Time Machine’ because you go up them, and the next thing you know, it’s the next day”

By this point, we’d eaten maple syrup, watched ice hockey on tv and said ‘Eh’ more than a handful of times. We were feeling pretty damn Canadian, oh but dear reader wait, the best was yet to come. The afternoon was spent unleashing our primal instincts at Forged Axe Throwing. Chuck on a plaid shirt, flex your muscles and awaken your inner lumberjack by hurling axes across the room. If you’re looking to cool off with some local beer afterwards make sure you whet your whistle at Coast Mountain Brewing with some of the finest brewskis in BC.

Pretty Canadian, ‘eh? | Team Growler

The evening plan was a Whistler stalwart- Sushi Village. The restaurant is one of the liveliest in town, with private areas available for those who want to really let rip. The walls are adorned with the artwork of legendary Whistlerite Chilli Thom and the atmosphere is really buzzing. We’d highly recommend the Tuna KFC Roll and make sure you go to town on the Sake Margaritas. The stairs up to the entrance are known locally as ‘The Time Machine’ because you walk up them, and the next thing you know, it’s the next day. It beggars belief, but despite Whistler’s huge reputation as a snow mecca, we had the raddest day and we didn’t even get a whiff of the white stuff.

“Despite Whistler’s huge reputation as a snow mecca, we had the raddest day and we didn’t even touch the pistes”

On Thursday we had planned to hit up Whistler Heli-Ski to get buckwild in the backcountry but unfortunately Mother Nature, the wily and capricious mistress that she is, decided it was not to be. The weather may have grounded us, but we were treated instead to a legendary Whistler powder day. It spewed all day, heavy snow and huge flakes turning every single run into a fresh powder run. It was madness.

PC: Whistler Blackcomb

Our evening was spent at the Bearfoot Bistro, which was completely surreal. If you like the sound of nitrous oxide martinis and ice cream, sabering champagne bottles with a Guinness World Record holder and a nightcap in the worlds coldest vodka tasting room then this is not to be missed. I genuinely don’t think I’ll ever experience anything like this again, I felt like it all happened in some sort of alternate reality. From start to finish the whole evening was presented with the flair and panache you’d expect from the finale of Cirque du Soleil.

“Whatever deity reigns supreme in Whistler had pulled some major strings to give us the one of the best days riding we’d ever experienced”

A Whistler Blackcomb staple is their Fresh Tracks programme, offering the first 650 people at the Whistler Village Gondola the chance to get early access to the lifts. At 07:15 a buffet breakfast is served at the top and after fuelling up and stocking up on pocket bacon, you’re all set to snag the very first lines of the day. The conditions on Friday were those you only get a few times a season- bluebird skies, a foot of fresh snow and only the faintest breath of wind. The stars had aligned and whatever deity reigns supreme in Whistler had pulled some major strings to give us one of the best days riding we’d ever experienced.

PC: Whistler Blackcomb

We ended the week in a delirious haze of powder highs, jet lag and food comas. Was Whistler as good as we were led to believe? It was genuinely better. There’s a reason holidaymakers, seasonaires and pro riders flock here year after year. Whistler is far from a one trick pony, there’s something for everyone, it’s a veritable smörgåsbord. Gentle green slopes and beginner zones give way to hectic couloirs and open bowls as far as the eye can see. There’s a myriad of off-snow activities just a stones throw from the gondolas and a multitude of dining options to suit every palate, from the avant-garde to the classics. Whether you’re a first lifts kinda guy, or you’re just there to dine at altitude you can’t go amiss in Whistler.

There’s never been a better time to plan your trip to Whistler, with the savings and flexibility on offer you can get the trip of a lifetime for a banging price.

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