After a long summer holiday spent soaking our poor policing feet in a mixture of ice, vodka and the blood of a thousand snow bladers, the snow has started to drop. With the first snowflake comes the need to punch in and start the patrol and what a surprise! We barely crunch the snow and two idiots present themselves right before us. You can imagine we were mixed with elation but mostly disgust.

Where to begin, where to begin! Look at berk number one on the left. Looking for your dignity are you? Hang on, look up a bit. Yeh, see that guy on the skis next to you. That’s right. I’m guessing he’s probably the last person to see your dignity when it flew out of the window this morning with the rest of your decency. He’s standing there trying to help knowing full well you aren’t going to find it. He’s no better though. Look at his attire. I feel that if we push you together you’d look like vomit but that would give vomit a bad name.

I honestly couldn’t contain myself when I saw this as they’ve made my season already. You should start digging a hole where you’re looking and maybe, just maybe, someone will fill in the hole with you in it.
Screw it, I think I might let these two run free. There’s nothing like a good hunt!

Photo: Laura Hanlon