Marc Frank Montoya - Snowboarder, gangster and... self help Guru?!

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Mark Frank Montoya – from thug 4 life steeze to management consultant steeze.

Mark Frank Montoya has never been one to shy away from being over the top.

As the dude who arguably did more than anyone to popularise the baggy “Gangster” style of snowboarding in the late 90s and early 2000s, he was all about rocking the blingest chains, the biggest rings, and the most ridiculous “look how I be rollin’ like a pimp!” style.

But even for a man who loved to big himself up (or make a tit of himself, depending on your point of view) this latest move is a pretty bold one. The gangster from the block seems to be launching a new career as a self-help guru.

Yup, MFM is gonna teach you how to turn your life around, make a million bucks and generally (as he puts it) “Live like a Boss!”

And best of all, the one-time G-Unit has donned a collared shirt and re-invented himself as the bastard child of Donald Trump and The Church of Scientology to help you do it.

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MArk will teach you how to live like this. Apparently.

Seriously, have a look at his recently launched website (which bills him as a “Financial Freedom Specialist, whatever that is!) it’s comedy gold.

Here we have a dude who just a few years ago was declaring himself “Thug 4 Life” (by doing some shoddy lip-syncing to Kool G Rap’s tune for his Back in Black part) telling us about “The tax advantages of having a home based business”.

He’s not a ghetto snowboarder any more, he’s a “world-class professional athlete” who built “several million dollar businesses as a serial entrepreneur”.

The fact that several of these businesses, like his Block chain of hotels and his clothing line Sound have folded ignominiously in the meantime doesn’t really matter, cos you see, Mark knows “The Secret Weapons of Entrepreneurial Freedom”.

And (for a small fee, obviously) he can help reveal them to you. Via the medium of very reasonably-priced set of instructional DVDs.

MFM-website
Not just a money-making scam – this will change your life too!

These “secret weapons” appear to involve a lot of CAPITALISATION of words like YOUR MONEY and SUCCESS, a smattering of pseudo-philosophical bullshit and plenty of chat about “Mastering the Freedom Mindset”.

Oh and if his logo is anything to go by, a couple of tigers and some samurai swords too.

Check out this particularly choice passage:

95% of us have been programmed to “do what we’re told” and “do what everybody else does” our whole lives. “Get good grades, so you can get a good JOB”, they told us over and over again! Sadly, we spent many valuable years in a corrupt school system, never learning a thing about MONEY or LEVERAGE. These exact 8 books below are some of the first that directly caused my success and helped me achieve immediate and extraordinary results in my life.

Far be it from us to doubt him, but we’d always thought Mark had achieved “success” by being actually rather good at snowboarding, rather than reading self-help books?

Either way, we can’t help wishing that he’d stuck to the snow and left flogging bullshit “make-a-million, get-rich-quick” schemes to Stephen Covey and those annoying internet pop-up ads.

It’s not the coolest thing for an ex-pro to be doing really is it?

  1. Scott Davenport

    Haha can’t believe the shit Tristan is gettin. Always been a massive fan of MFM’s ridin but he’s obviously doin this for money & not from the goodness of his heart. These guys are conmen. Anyone who falls for that shite needs euthanising!!!!

  2. righton

    I agree with Tom L…. peeps need to lighten up.

  3. Tom L.

    Seems that Whitelines has been abducted by touchy, humourless Americans.

  4. Giulia R.

    I think he is HOT and intelligent! I met him at his hotel in Tahoe and was different than everything I’ve seen before in any part of the world!

    You must be jealous of his success and just being a hater!

    Shame on you!

    Giulia ;-)

  5. smoothy

    MFM. is a don. King of his own style.
    Hackpiece, knobend, ravesabout15yearoldgirlbuttriestodisthaO.G.

  6. Alex2

    OMG!!! This is amazing. A while back I heard a voicemail from MFM trying to get a someone into a pyramid scam involving a new vitamin water drink. It all makes sense now. Please tell me you bought the DVDs and plan on doing a follow up piece.

  7. Bobbie

    whoa*** Who is the brain that hired @Tristan Kennedy for editor??? What ignorance and jealousy spewing from its mouth. Yes, MFM is good at snowboarding, but even better at branding, which is quite the reason you think he should remain a “thug 4 life” snowboarder forever. My sales team would value the opinion and determination of someone who has been successful, over spewing hater in a cubical, spending a life trying to tear people down, and worse, calling a legendary leader like Steven Covey a “get-rich-quick” scheme annoyance. With your display of ignorance, it is obvious you have never read a self-help book. #writernotarider #firehim

    1. tristan

      You’re right, @Bobbie, I haven’t ever read a self-help book – I’ve never felt the need to.

      I’ve certainly never felt the need to take life lessons from riders (or actors, or musicians or whatever) that I admire. I admire them for their riding, or acting, or songwriting or other particular talents, not for how they live their life.

      I feel like the self-help “industry” as a whole is all too often cultish, exploitative of people’s weaknesses, and often pretty tacky. And while I’m not doubting that some people feel it helps them, it’s certainly ripe for a bit of piss-taking.

    2. tristan

      Oh but wait, I’ve just read this passage on MFM’s site:

      “If you are a “know it all” cynic, doubter, or an excuse-making whiner with small dreams, please do not opt-in to any of these sites.”

      That’s obviously me! I’ve seen the light! Where do I put in my credit card details?! ;-)

  8. Chris

    the Daily Mail don’t do snowboard mags, but if they did…

  9. Alex

    No, it’s not the coolest thing to do. But neither is writing an entire article that just makes fun of someone.

  10. Tory

    LOL! Tristan Kennedy, you must be young, and clearly do not know much about Marco. Very outstanding individual that knows how to overcome obstacles and believes in people. We’ve seen him speak. MFM will thank you for the traffic…

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