Where do I start with this? It’s a mess. She looks like a Bond girl throwback that never got a call back to the audition. With the pose, the cigarette, sunglasses and classic snow headband she’s putting all the ingredients together but is failing miserably. I can only guess she gets on the slope with all that in mind and skis in the same stance. What IS that stance about? I literally can’t think of any words for this one. It’s like she’s presenting herself to the world without caring what they think about. You look insanely weird with your half velour, half wetsuit combo. And on a slightly different note, check out the guy behind her and his classic Bond villain moustache! We’ll let you off with a warning son.

You know that classic Bond scene when he’s on that table with a laser about to cut him in half? ‘No Mr Bond. I want you to die!’ We all know it. Just hope that one day, someone makes that laser table, cuts this woman into a million pieces and scatters the pieces over a thousand rabid dogs. I might write out my resignation after this. There’s just too many of them…

Photo: Paul Bray