Ex-Olympian Todd Richards gave out the second best commentary of Sochi 2014 via his twitter feed with gems like:

“I sentence you to downhill” that would scare troubled youth straight. — toddrichards (@btoddrichards) February 9, 2014

Also:

I love seeing mainstream media attempt to describe a “holy Crail” to the masses. Sometimes I think it will be better to call it a “thingy”. — toddrichards (@btoddrichards) February 9, 2014

And finally:

Well my job is done here. Now trending: #machinegunofawesomeness

— toddrichards (@btoddrichards) February 13, 2014

We’re shocked he managed to get any actual commentary done at all after spending so much time glued to his phone.

What we propose for the next games is to provide every sports channel on earth with a scrolling news-style live ticker with the content beamed directly from his mind. Surely technology will have progressed to that point by then? That’ll give his fingers a rest at least…