It was only a matter of time before a figurehead turned to the dark side but we never thought that it would be Santa. Firstly, we've sorted out the myth of Santa. He does exist. There's not a single chance in hell that someone would go around PRETENDING to be Santa, it just doesn't make sense! Who in their right mind would do such a thing?
That's right! These dirty, bad dressed, fashion bastards have attempted to take on a kinder form to make sure that people aren't as disgusted as they currently are! These low cretins are recruiting kids as they are easily approached by Santa. Be aware everyone! If you see anyone dressed or looking like jolly Saint Nick, you'd best attempt to cut of his leg and maim him so he is incapacitated forevermore. There will be no more Christmas from now on as you can only expect fashion disaster propaganda and some sort of onesie in the form of defecation.
Photo: Steve Handscombe