There's times where I wish magic were real. Unfortunately it isn't, so we'll have to resort to a good old murder. OK, maybe not that far - but if this guy was actually some sort of wizard he would have been burnt at the stake by now. Imagine if he performs at children's parties?! The poor kids wouldn't develop a fear of clowns, they'd be having nightmares about a weird skiing wizard with a coat that was apparently bought from a wallpaper shop that caters for anyone under the age of 4.

I wish people were smarter.

Photo: John Gillespie