You know how it is, you walk down the aisles of TK Maxx trying to find yourself a hip, cheap one piece for the annual skiing trip. What's this? A delightful pink number? Oh but wait, there's a blue one too. You just can't decide which colour to get. Luckily enough, you have a friend who is equally as ill equipped in the brain region. You both look like a right pair of tw*ts. Stop trying to keep up with trends and just wear something diferent.

Word is that there's one in orange wandering around as well. Is there nowhere safe? Surely you are not welcome at any slope, anywhere, anymore? These people are the reason crimes happen.

Photo: Tom Whitfield