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Oh the horror, the horror. We've all seen them - those lads and ladies of the mountains rocking the most awful outwear known to man. This bloke above is no exception. It was this repulsive affliction on our eyes that inspired us to hunt down the worst outerwear ever worn.
We used to run a feature called Fashion Police where readers sent in photos of the most heinous fashion crimes witnessed on the mountain. From Colonel Gaddafi to Evil Santa, our agents locked down dozens of fashion law violators.
We're thinking of sending the fashion police back out there to make some more arrests, what do you think? With this many hardened criminals still at large, we probably should right?
Post your fashion crime snaps on the Whitelines Facebook Page and we'll feature the best ones each week! In the meantime, here's some inspiration to get you started...
[part title="The Laughing Stock"]
Figure-hugging outerwear is never a good look - particularly when it comes in neon with a matching headband and bizarrely tiny goggles (did he nick them off a small child?) Yes mate, you are the worst dressed snowboarder...ever.
[part title="The 80s Meets Trainspotting"]
There's something slightly unnerving about these two fellas. They look like they've dropped out of an Irvine Welsh film and into a pair of blindingly-bright onesies. Particularly that dude on the left. You wouldn't want to encounter him in a dark alleyway.
[part title="The LSD"]
Either this woman's tripping - or we are. Psychedelia fell out of fashion in the 1960s and for good reason. She didn't even bother to opt for a dull looking helmet. Maybe that's how it's done in Bulgaria? Thanks to Garrick Abrahamson for sending us this classic shot spotted in Borovets.
[part title="The Screech Onesie"]
Has this man dropped straight out of Saved by the Bell? Just check out those Transformer-style ski boots. Where are his friends? Why has he got a shrunken pork pie hat on? So many questions we'll never know the answer to. Great spot in Avoriaz by Lee Miln.
[part title="The French-Canadian Poser"]
In Montreal, they've dedicated an entire contest at Igloofest to finding the ugliest ski onesie out there. Their gallery of finalists almost rivals our list for biggest collection of horrendous outwear to date. Surely this woman won, right?
[part title="The Bank Robber"]
[part title="The Pink Schlong"]
OK, so it's not quite a jacket but we couldn't not include this abomination. Fancy dress or not, this man is fast on his way to suffering hefty fine from the Fashion Police. It's everything from the zinc-covered nose and kneepads to the trouser snake. Apparently the upside to being dressed like a giant condom is.. oh wait, there isn't one.
[part title="The Marty McFly"]
Marty McFly might be a fan of this jacket, but we certainly are not. Who would've thought that plainer than plain clothing store Campri once sold explosive neon jackets like this? However it's one redeeming feature is the quaint early snowboarding reference to "surfing frozen waves" on the back.
[part title="The High School Leftover"]
This dude is up there with The Godfather of onesies. Apparently the owner bought this back in high school - and man does it show. You know when you leave a bag of Skittle in the sun too long and they go all melty and weird? Yep, that's what this outfit looks like.
[part title="The Fresh Prince"]
You can't argue that this jacket doesn't have Fresh Prince of Belair written all over it. Were medieval jesters seen as style inspiration in the 80s?
[part title="The Samurai Warrior"]
This rather aggressive looking fellow seems to be brandishing his skis like a samurai sword. Wait a second, those multi-coloured puffa jacket sleeves look familiar. Is this the same dude from the first slide?! Many thanks to Richard Cole for pointing this one out to us.
[part title="The Willyfinder"]
We're not entirely sure how this animated position came about but he's a skiier, so obviously he looks like an absolute tool. In case you were wondering, you can buy this exact onesie for yourself over at the aptly named Willyfinder for a whopping £150!
[part title="The Yeti"]
[part title="The Question Mark"]
This atrocious specimen is in fact, er, me. For just $10, I could have been the proud owner of this punctuation-decorated neon pink onesie. It was so tight however, that I was worried if I sat down it would split right up the crotch.
[part title="The German Rocket Man"]
As old Fashion Police readers will know, Whistler seems to be where all our outerwear criminals go to swap fashion advice - otherwise known as the Hiroshima of Fashion. This chap is no exception. He goes by the name of Martin, he comes from Germany and yes, those are in fact yellow Elton John-esque tinted glasses he's got on there.
[part title="The Celebrity Criminal"]
Along with denim, leather is the number one material no-one should ever wear on the slopes. Ever. Victoria Beckham however clearly didn't get the memo. The stony-faced pouter was rocking this look waaay before Shaun White's notorious get-up at the 2011 X Games.
[part title="The Hipster"]
It looks like a primary school art class vomited on these bad boys. Guaranteed East London's finest would lap these up. Quiksilver, we thought you were better than this?
[part title="The Hoff"]
This dude definitely thinks he's David Hasselhoff. The curly mop, the chest-baring suit, the come-hither eyes (or perhaps he's just caught a glimpse of his own reflection). Someone pass us a bucket.
[part title="The Motherlode"]
Just to top it all off, this eyesore was supposedly was spotted by a Sheffield University student in a Meribel boutique for a fairly hefty price. Anyone caught wearing this will be immediately imprisoned in a Category A Fashion Police institution. It's just unforgivable.