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Vomit as outerwear

Vomit as outerwear

Look at this one. It was sent in very recently from the snowy hills of Banff and it’s scary. The creature in the background has decided to begin her yoga moves in the middle of the slope – simultaneously burning everyone’s retinas with a putrid green number she appears to have stolen from the set of Dynasty. Not only that, she’s decided to wear a bicycle helmet. I know that any sort of head protection is good protection, but I’ve started to dislike this woman so it might be better if she could take it off and quietly slide underneath the 507 to London Bridge.

OK, maybe that’s too harsh. Maybe…

Photo: Adam Hoskins

  1. BobGnarly

    Snowboarding – immature? Never!


    Petty? Nah, we’re all one big happy family us…


    And have you ever heard of a vain or self promotional snowboarder? Me neither…


    Chill out Soapbox – it’s all just a bit of fun!

  2. Soapbox

    Basically, the entire Fashion Police segment is pretty embarassing. I know it’s meant to be lighthearted, but it paints the picture that snowboarding is an immature, petty and vain culture. One that jumps at the chance to judge anyone; snowboarder, skier or whoever, on some superficial aspect like clothing. Whether this really is an aspect of the snowboarding culture or not, it’s a damaging sterotype and one we should be trying to get rid of.

    It’s the same case with the whole ‘Hoho aren’t Skiers a bunch of twats’ trend. It’s outdated to the point of being cliche, and it makes me cringe reading another sentence about how un-cool skiers are. All of these factors lead people to be super self conscious about their appearance, and so scared of being judged. People should feel comfortable and welcomed by the culture.

    Whitelines could/ should set a mature example to its demographic and GET OVER IT. Focus on the aspects of snowboarding culture that aren’t so superficial, hollow and spiteful.

    Sorry for the rant but it’s starting to get ridiculous – I probably won’t renew my subscription because of it.

  3. ugh

    urgh, you got it wrong bruddah. I hate fashion try-hards way more than anything else on the mountain – more than death cookies, more than 3 day old freeze-thaw crud, more than a broken binding at the top of a powder field, more than Austrian techno… so your sarcasm has actually re-enforced my point.

    The point I was making is that by taking the piss out of others, you invite a critique on your own self – and if you do so, you had better be perfect (which no-one is). Best thing to do is just go and snowboard, not spend all day following round skiers who couldn’t give a shit what they look like, trying to get a sneaky photo. It’s not as if the guy was even brave enough to get close.

    And given that she is rocking a retro 80s all in one, surely that makes her the height of cool anyway, given fashion’s current obsession with the decade of shoulder pads, ghetto blasters and neon?

  4. nice strap

    yeah that goggle strap is the worst thing ever. makes hitler look like a nun in comparison. props to the jacket thought, that thing is retro.

  5. urgh

    In response to ugh. I agree, i totally wet myself when I see someone with their strap on the outside of their helmet, I mean what is that all about!? Is it not the most ridiculous thing you have ever seen!? It’s just pure crazy! These people must still get dressed my their mums because they clearly have no idea. Perhaps this fellow and the lady in the photo should share some of their fashion tips because you clearly rate them similarly. Or, perhaps they should ask you for some tips, you’d be the one wearing skinny jeans, hoodie (over your helmet – XS with all the protection ripped out), some crazy Euro gap (but in a cool way), a dirty narrow stance and obviously, your googles under your helmet. That is how you roll isn’t it? If not, you should really get with it or people will laugh at you.

  6. Mmmmmm

    I’d still bone her.

  7. ugh

    mate, you’ve got your goggle strap on the outside of your helmet. move out of the greenhouse before you start chucking pebbles


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