After exhausting the booze supplies in your backpack, rock up in a piste-side bar with a live band, sweaty and high on endorphins. Stow your goggles on your head for safe keeping and pour a succession of sticky, vile-flavoured shots down your throat followed by a double jug chaser.

Strip to the waist and pin pall around grabbing tits and bums and claiming you’re the ‘Sexual Harassment Panda.’ Lose your t-shirt. At closing time, ski down to the village in the dark and nearly plough into a snow canon. You’re still up and drinking, tits proud, at midnight when you notice the last bus cruising down the road. You’ve missed it. Oh well. Get another jug in.